Ah, the joys of relationship! With one person, you have easier communication and with another person, it is nothing but constant arguments. Why is this? Because each person has their own ways in which they view, approach and experience different aspects of their lives. If we just look at just this one aspect, in this case two people’s Mercury placements, we will see not only if the communication will be easy (conjunction, sextile, or trine) or whether it will be challenging (conjunction, square, opposition, inconjunction). We can then look at further flavors added by the element (Fire, Earth, Air or Water) and modality (Cardinal, Fixed, Mutable) as well as the signs themselves. A person with a Capricorn Mercury is going to have a clipped efficient business-like manner to her/his communication style whereas a person with a Mercury in Pisces may be more obtuse, flowery, nebulous and somewhat confusing –especially to the Capricorn Mercury!.
You may also be aware of that other interesting thing that happens in couples: in the beginning of a relationship, the other person has traits you really admire or that really excite you, but over time, they are the exact traits that irritate and annoy you. This happens most often when planets are in opposition. It is easy for us to project (oppositional full moon spotlight energy) our un-owned aspects onto another especially when we have oppositions in our chart AND when a person has a planet on one of these oppositional two spots in our own charts. The Zodiac is set up in six pairs of opposites. The goal is to learn how to be in relationship to all of the many areas in life in a way that is accepting and loving rather than critical and harsh. In fact, if you want to see how far you are “along” in your life, just ask yourself what gets your blood going? And if you are in relationship, you probably can give a list of irritations that your significant other easily portrays in your life so you can say you don’t have to! But you do and you are, otherwise your partner’s behavior wouldn’t irritate you.
Maybe it is my Gemini North node in the seventh house, but I love doing couple’s readings. Shedding light on each person’s respective traits in a way that allows both partners to see, understand and accept one another’s inherent traits as opposed to encouraging passive aggressive blame for what one perceives as “made up” behavior patterns. I believe astrology gives a lovely tool for the ways in which one can understand the interconnected ways in which we approach the following parts of our lives:
How we shine out in the world Sun
How we nurture and feel Moon
How we communicate Mercury
How we value and love Venus
How we desire and act Mars
How we expand and believe Jupiter
How we structure and discipline Saturn
How we wound and heal Chiron
How we shock and evolve Uranus
How we dream and escape Neptune
How we transform and deal with power Pluto
Whether you are just starting to date someone or have been in a relationship for a long time, it is important to understand the relationships, or aspects, your planets make to your partner’s planets. Bringing compassion and understanding to the challenging parts of the chart can help each of you to step away from the blame and change game and allow for acceptance and support. I encourage you to get a reading to more deeply understand how these energies play out in your relationship or do your own homework and start (or deepen) the dialogue of understanding with your partner in the various areas of your life.
The more tools you have to enjoy a healthy relationship, the more satisfying your relationship will be. With the current Leo/Aquarius eclipse cycle this month, we are forced to see how our own egoic needs (Leo) have to be in balance with the needs of the collective (Aquarius). Anyone with planets around 28 – 29 degrees, in the fixed signs of Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius will be activated in a more than likely uncomfortably challenging manner. Try to show a big Leonine heart over the next few weeks. The world, and all of us in it, could use a lot of compassion right now!
May you remember your divinity. May you find peace and serenity and may we all forgive ourselves for what we project onto one another,